complexing | [014] [video/action] happy, happy birthday, from all of us to you

[The video starts up and Touya looks rather intensely into the camera. For having just turned 21, he looks fairly grumpy.]

Okay, so my birthday only comes around once every four years, technically, so I figure I get a free pass at this. It isn't a joke, nobody laugh.

The person... people... [He huffs in frustration and decides to keep this simple.] The person I'm with wants to take our relationship to an intimate level and I don't know how to make it special or memorable or nice or whatever. Can anyone give me some advice or something?

[A fairly hostile video for a request but... the subject has clearly been on his mind for a few days. Long enough that he's so desperate for advice, he's gone public.]

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[Even though it's his birthday, Touya isn't making such a big deal out of it. He goes to work at Seventh Heaven, picks up some groceries (ingredients for one of his favorite meals), and walks home. Meanwhile, he's pondering the responses he's received from the network and, oddly enough, thinking about his mother. Had she ever thought that she would see her son turn 21? It wasn't much of a milestone, honestly, but Touya always tended to think about his mom on his birthday, and all of those small celebrations he'd had when he was younger. And how annoyed he was when his dad explained why Touya's birthday wasn't always on the calendar.]

[Some of these memories have Touya smiling at times when maybe it wasn't really appropriate to smile, but he isn't thinking about everyone else at the moment.]

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[The holy grail, it has arrived. Thank god somebody is going to be practical about this and not sputter or scream at him.]

Thank you. So much. I can do a massage, with like oils and stuff right?

Oils, lotions, massage bars... all those work nicely. If you want to get a reaction from a guy, here's the areas you want to focus more attention on: thighs, abdomen, hips, lower back, and buttocks.

Once he's more in the mood, include stroking the wings. They're... nice to play with in this situation.

Right. I've got some experience with that. [He clears his throat, but doesn't say much else--that could get too personal.]

And what can I do about it not uh... hurting. I mean, I've heard this can hurt if the couple doesn't take the steps to make it, uh, not hurt... [So maybe he isn't so eloquent right now, but the previous responses had him thinking he'd never be having this sort of discussion. So things to ask, details he'd previously thought about, were all forgotten in favor of damage control.]

Well first thing you need to know about that is that every guy is different. Some guys need more preparation than others. Second, given I'm guessing it's both your first time? So you should know it's going to hurt a bit for whoever receives until they adjust and things get going. And yes, they'll be sore afterwards. It's normal and natural, and things will get better the more experienced you two get.

But, there's ways to minimize the discomfort. The grocery store has lube. Thaaaat's... in the isle where you can find the razors and other grooming aids. Use that to slick up the penis of whoever's going to be penetrating, and then get the rest on your fingers. That's got to be worked inside whoever's receiving. [He's going to demonstrate now a scissoring motion with his fingers.] Use one finger to start and steadily work your way up to three. Stretch the entrance with the movement I'm demonstrating now; it will make things easier when the act finally happens. Generally, the more lube used the better.

Also very important. The guy receiving needs to relax. Tensing up in the middle of this makes it worse. So the other guy needs to be sensitive to how their partner is taking it, and ease up if needed. Communication is pretty key here. It makes things a lot easier.

[Touya takes notes on the advice, nodding and watching when he needs to (he even mimics the scissor motion under the table, wondering if that actually worked).]

We really haven't talked about who would be where or anything like that... but we usually don't have communication problems. So that's kind of a relief. [He laughs quietly, his voice indicating just how much of a relief it is.]

Okay so, as long as I follow this advice and we communicate, everything should be fairly alright.

It should be. It all tends to work itself out in the end. Don't worry if it doesn't go all completely smoothly - it's not what makes a first time special in the end. It's getting to know your partner on that level for the first time. A few bumps along the road just makes the whole thing more interesting.

[Confiding.]

And you might even find that some of those mishaps are some of your favorite memories later on.

Seriously...? [Wow, he'd never thought of it that way. But in retrospect, Yuki always laughed about that time Touya had to play Cinderella in their class play. And that time he'd ended up in that pink mascot bunny costume. And that time--]

[...regardless, there were a lot of times Yuki laughed at him when Touya had been in a compromising position.]

I guess that makes sense. It's the same with everyday stuff too--mishaps being favorite memories later.

I really appreciate this. Everyone else flipping out made me wonder if I'd ever get a straight answer. [He chuckles.]

Seriously.

It's no problem. [Part of his job.] I'm a doctor and I answer questions like this all the time. You're welcome to ring me up if you have more later.

Ah, I guess that's why you didn't freak out about it. Next time I have a weird question I'll know to just ask a doctor.

Do you have a clinic or something? I don't think I've seen it around before.

[014] [video/action] happy, happy birthday, from all of us to you

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